MUSINGS FROM AN ITINERANT CHILD OF GOD

This is a letter I wrote to my younger daughter Kitten who turned 18 today...

18 November, 2009

Our Dearest Kitten,

What a milestone for my baby, 18 years old!

When we were planning your special day, you said something that struck me on how very much you knew what you wanted in life. No ifs or buts…’Ma, please bake a special cake for me for my CORE group and my YOUTH group.’   And I countered with, ‘don’t you want a party?’  Your answer was funny but actually very practical considering our circumstances…’Ma, if we will have a party we will go bankrupt with all the friends I have. ‘ And that made me think, yes…baby…you were right…With all the family we have here in Dumaguete, our friends and your friends, we would go bankrupt and that is just half!  The other half would get mad at us because we did not invite them…hehe…

Our dear Kitten, since you were a toddler you already knew what you wanted to be when you grew up…a cashier…And now you are taking up Accountancy!  This is rare because most people go through life not knowing what they want.  Your absolute focus in your goals and desires is something Papa and I are very proud of.  Your dedication for your studies is something that never ceases to amaze me…but most of all, as a mom and as a parent, I hold dear your passion for your walk with our Lord.  Your weekly schedule for Bible studies and church activities outshines the schedule of some pastors I know…Even Pastor Jerry was all praises for you in your outreach trip to Davao..

I remember when you and Kylie were just babies…I went inside Silliman Church, there was no service and the church was empty…I just sat there and said a silent prayer to God dedicating both of you to HIM that as you live He will use the two of you as instruments in building His kingdom here on earth…That was all I prayed for that day… and He is answering my special prayer.

Baby…keep up your core in life…stay always close to our Lord and Savior because He is the very reason for your being…for our being…Stay the warm, loving, generous, funny, charming, bright, and thoughtful Kitten that you are…

Happy Happy Birthday our dear Baby Kitten…I will tell you the same thing I told Kylie, you will always stay our baby no matter how  old you will be…

Love you with all of our hearts,

Papa, Mama and Kylie

My prayer for us today: (addressed to fellow members of CCD Bezalel Circle Ministry)

May God always give us divine appointments to always reach one more for Him! And may we keep our eyes and ears wide open for such opportunities...My kids told me about a certain pedicab driver who uses his vocation to share the Word...Sharing to all his passengers...talk about having a captured audience...and what a perfect and wonderful ministry! The kids only had one complaint...the pedicab driver was driving so slow...I wonder why?   :)    Pedicab ministry...wow...

And my babies also talked about a certain stranger sharing the Word to a fellow Calvary Chapel Dumaguete (CCD) Core member...only to discover...the stranger was from the afternoon CCD Visayan service!

Reachin out...reachin out...through our personal lives, through divine appointments...through our collective work on the website...through our ministries in church...the harvest is ripe...

22 October, 2009

Our Dearest Kylie,

Looking at the pictures you uploaded in your Facebook of you and Kitten when you were both still babies, and then toddlers and then looking at your pictures now…I can only say… my…how time has flown…my daughter has grown into a beautiful woman…and I still call you my baby…

You, my most wonderful daughter, have been gifted by our Lord with creative talents. Your gifts never cease to amaze me and your Papa.  And to think you have only given us just a glimpse of the workings of your gifted mind. I know that in time your full potential as an artist will be unleashed.

You have a sense of kindness and a great need to protect your loved ones.  These traits show a love that is deep, mature and sensitive.  Yes, you are a light shining bright for our Lord.  You have a quiet strength about you and we are privileged that we have been touched and blessed by your strength.  In any crisis, danger or emergency I would want you to be by my side.

One day  I know that you will make the most wonderful mother to your children.

Happy Happy Birthday our dear Baby…You will always be our baby no matter how  old you will be…

Love you with all of our hearts,

Papa, Mama and Kitten

My two daughters, Kylie and Kitten were in a friendly tiff arguing as to who will be the first to share this with me...Thank you my babies... I can understand why both of you were both scrabbling to be the first to share this video with me...I cried as a parent could only cry...the gift that was given to us...let us honor to our last dying breath...

I wrote this a day after my birthday...

Yesterday,  I woke up earlier than normal, thinking that I would get a head start on my daily chore of cleaning...To my surprise ...I saw the dining room all decorated with balloons , the table all glammed up with a yellow tablecloth and all sorts of birthday decor...and on the wall... a wall-hanging with a stylized collage of a couple of my pictures and down below it messages from the ones closest to my heart...then I remembered...it was my birthday!

I read each hanging message...I laughed and I cried...and I was so touched, that in spite of the stress of their final exams, Kylie and Kitten found time to do and make all these things. I later found out that they slept at 2 am...

When I saw all these...any notion of  doing something as mundane as cleaning was immediately tossed out and my daily over-compulsive list of 'things to do' was laid aside.. I  said to myself that today was too special to start it off with a feather duster in my hand. I snuck back to bed and tried to sleep again hoping to fool all of them so as not to spoil their wonderful suprise...

Below is something Bert wrote which really made me laugh and cry...this was part of the wall hanging that Kylie made....Just thought I would share it with all of you...

6 October 2009 

Dearest Mama Ana, 

Kylie, Kitten and I are so thankful to God that He gave you to us.  

“We may not have a mansion on a hill, nickels and diamonds by the score,” yet you are the “sunshine of our lives”. “You shelter us from harm, keep us warm, keep us warm.” Every day is a “celebration” because you “smile even though your heart is aching.” That’s how you “stand by us” even “all night long.” You “teach your children well” especially when they cross the “bridge over troubled waters.” 

We live life abundantly because you share every laughter, every tear, every joy, every sorrow, every success, every failure.   

We love you very much, Mama. Really we are so blessed. 

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 

I love you, 

Papa Bert

Hawaii Five O..Now the mention of that television show is really bringing back memories...I am going through this very nostalgic walking down memory lane mood....The theme song is playing now in my head... I was in the states when it really became popular and when I was in fourth grade I had this crush on our elementary band drum player...the band would always play this song for school events...Thinking about it I think that was the only song they knew how to play...I can still remember his name...Danny (I won't mention the last name)...maybe I will google his name ..I wonder how he looks like now?  Fat, hairless, maybe toothless?  On second thought I don't think I will google him...I will just stick to my memory of him...


Update: 

I just googled the name of my former crush...DANNY and this is how he looks now!






Just Kidding! 

Hi Guys!

I am taking a break from preparing our garage for tonight's Bible Study for SU 1st year students. It's University Christian Life Emphasis Week in Silliman University and we are expecting about 25 to 30 freshmen college students tonight.  It's been raining for the past several days... So the handyman in me decided to put up a makeshift tarpaulin extension on the garage roof...By sheer grit, tenacity and overall foolishness I managed to convince myself that I could do it...and I did...with the aid of my handy dandy glue gun, duct tape, and a shaky ladder...The results of my efforts will stand trial if the rain pours and the verdict will be put forth tonight.

Points of issue will rest mainly on 2 things...How strong is the glue gun...1). will the glue gun applied to the taurpaulin and the pole I used withstand the pulling force of the string as it's stretched and tied to the branches? and 2). is duct tape waterproof?...Oh no!  I don't think it is...dead...I am dead....

My face as I am writing this is full of cobwebs, and all kinds of insects and unidentifiable debris from sweeping the garage ceiling and the musty and dusty tarpaulin.  I forgot that whatever is up...when you sweep it...it has to come down and go somewhere...Well it did and it went straight to my face and also now covering my hair and whole body...I am a walking "PigPen"...



For the younger generation, PigPen was the Charlie Brown character who walked around in an ubiquitous cloud of dust that came off from his body.

That is why I am blinking frequently too from the debris that found its way into my eyes...good thing I haven't had my bath yet...It would have been just a waste of water and soap...hehe...

Ok...I have sufficiently recovered from my tarpaulin adventure...I will now install a light in the yard...in case you don't hear from me on this blog for awhile...maybe you can check up on me later on and see whether I am still in one piece...hehe...Shaky ladder...here I come!...

On second thought...water, meaning rain...and electricity are not the best of companions...let me rethink the light thing...You may not recognize me the next time you see me...new hairdo from electric shock... 

Came across these beautiful words just now...


The hope we taste in the promises we trust...WOW! I'm saying the line over and over again in my head and I can't stop...

The words are from an article entitled - John the Baptist's doubt by Jon Bloom

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1636_John_the_Baptists_Doubt/

I am posting this, hoping that whoever is going through the same pain and struggles as my young friend, will be helped by what I wrote to her..

Please help me by including her and others of similar situations in your prayers...


My Dearest friend, (I am omitting the real name),

I am praying so hard to God now to give you the right words of comfort. I am so glad I opened my email before deciding to sleep. I know that in my heart the Lord heard your cries of pain and I pray that through me He will speak to you...

Thank you for sharing your pain with me...I grieve with you...I don't claim to understand the suffering you are going through right now...because for sure it is intense and unbearable.

I know that God is with you now, turn to Him...Remember when Jesus friend, Lazarus died? What did Jesus do? He wept...Jesus when He was here on earth had compassion for those who were hurting or are in pain...This shows us that God is not a God who enjoys seeing us suffer...How does God feel about our pain? God did not give us just words..He gave us Himself...That's the story of Jesus life...He promises change and hope....The cross is the proof that God cares about our suffering and pain...
and the cross is proof that there is hope...Jesus is preparing for us a wonderful place in heaven...the pain you are now experiencing He will use to transform and strengthen you..

Pag mo ligid na ka in pain...(when it comes to the point that the pain is so intense that all you can do is roll on the floor)  let go and cry out to God to take it away. Ihatag niya ang tanan nga dili nimo kaya...(give all to Him that you can no longer bear) In the long term He will reveal His purposes for you and why you were allowed to go through this...

Lift up your Papa and Mama...things like this...your papa saying that he does not love your mama anymore dili ra gyud ta kasabot (we just don't understand)...Adults also go through mga walay lami (stuff that is just not right or pleasant)...and sometimes we behave more childish than children...Tell your desires to God...Ask the Lord to convict your Papa's heart that he may realize what he is doing is wrong and ask forgiveness for his sins from God. We also don't know if God is allowing this to provide a better future for you, your mom and sis without your dad...I don't know...

When everything seems its darkest...God will send you a light and an answer...Don't lose your faith and trust in Him. Believe me...God answers prayers....just pray and pray and pray...Be close and intimate with Jesus now at this time of your deepest anguish and need. Don't give up because our Lord will not give up on you...

I will be holding you close in my heart in prayer...I am here anytime you need me. I will email you my cell fone. I am just a text or an email away...

I wish I could be there to give, your mom, your sis a big embrace...but I know that Jesus is giving you one right now...surrender all to Him please...

Love Always,

Tita Ana


please allow me to share with you something from my Pastor's Notes:

"come to the Throne of Grace. God is waiting there, eager to hear your problem, eager to give you His solution, His care, and His love."  ...read more...(Please click here)

If you scroll down this web page and look at the footer bar you will see a butterfly.  Butterflies, caterpillar, cocoon, metamorphosis,,,these are aspects in a butterfly's life cycle that we like to reference to when we describe a phase in our lives.

The caterpillar denotes constant feeding, The pupal stage involves the moulting wherein the caterpillar wraps itself in a cocoon.This is followed by a transformation into a butterfly through metamorphosis.

Let's first talk about the cocoon and cocooning.  A cocoon is a protective casing for a caterpillar usually made out of silk or some other material. "an insect or caterpillar will enter into a Cocoon so that they will be protected from a harsh or unfriendly environment."

The word cocooning was coined in the 1990's and it is now the year 2009.  Almost two decades after the term was first used, we know it to describe a lot of individuals in a lifestyle that involves, evolves and revolves from the home.  As a housewife, I guess, cocooning best describes where I am at right now.

Have you ever been so comfortable in your surroundings that the very thought of leaving it gives you the hives or the jitters?  As a Christian and as one grows and matures one realizes that a journey with the Lord is the exact opposite of cocooning or being comfortable. This is more or less the summation of the epilogue in our Bible study last night. God provides twists and turns in one's life that may often churn your stomach as the Lord leads you into mysteries and adventures unknown.  But each plot that He has designed for your life story only serve to develop you into a person that is strong, confident and beautiful...He may just pluck you out of where you have been comfortable.  You resist and struggle... But "Just walk with Him" was the constant refrain from the pastor's own personal testimony. "Just walk with Him." "What He has planned for you, though some new journeys may seem scary, is the best for you."

Funny...this blog which I am posting for today was originally entitled several days ago as the "Tyranny of the Cocoon." (too nose bleed I thought-nosebleed is the term given by the generation of my kids to describe something as too heavy).  Then I changed it to "Oppression of the Cocoon".  But I found great difficulty in developing it into a story or article. It's been sitting on my site as a draft waiting to be finished. This morning I changed the title to what it is now.

We fail to become butterflies because for a lot of us, me included, where we are becomes a comfort zone...a cocoon protecting us from a harsh environment.

Have you ever heard of a woman named Faith Popcorn?

She was the person who coined the word cocooning.  Faith Popcorn was a trend forecaster and marketing consultant,  She used the word to describe:

 "individuals socializing less and retreating into their home more. Individuals tend to stay away from society and lack in social confidence leading to 'cocooning'. Popcorn identified cocooning as a commercially significant trend that would lead to, among other things, stay-at-home electronic shopping.

Since Popcorn coined the term, the trend has continued. The creation of the World Wide Web (WWW), home entertainment technology, advances in communication technology (cellphones, PDAs, and Blackberries) which allow "work-at-home" options, and demographic changes have made cocooning an increasingly attractive option." (Wikipedia)

Does the above describe you?  With the worsening global economic crisis, cocooning will continue to be the rising trend. As a means for survival, laid off workers will stay at home and turn to the www as a viable way to earn a living. This is not a bad thing per se.  We just need to watch out when the process becomes cocooning in all its negative aspects and we fail to become the butterfly that we ought to be.

Our imperfections and frailties are the rich raw materials God uses to create the beautiful tapestry of colors or the wonderful mosaic patterns in our lives like that you see in a butterfly's wings. Our tapestry, our wings, will not get worked on if we stay in our cocoons...So let's walk with Him...no, not the pastor..hehe...(by the very words he used to describe himself, he is more imperfect than I it seems)--  but walk with Him, our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  Allow God to take you out from your comfortable cocoon. He has an exciting novel to write that is your story.  Stay close to Him and trust Him. Be the vibrant, beautiful butterfly that God intends you to be.

I invite you to also read this:  WHY WORRY? (be adventurous and trust in God)

At this stage in my life I describe myself as a true Domestic Diva at heart and currently a Christian Computer Geek in the making.  : )

My husband, Bert, lately has been gently whispering to me that I also need to get up from the computer once in a while. Where my house used to be spic and span and spotless, it's in a bit of a mess now. Where my linens used to be changed and laundered weekly, I take a cursory glance at them and say hmmm, pwede pa.  The only items that have maintained their weekly change are the bathroom towels.  But who knows, as my passion and interest in website design take on a feverish pitch, these too will be downgraded to a monthly change. haha. Yikes!  All of us will be itching a lot due to unhygienic practices perpetrated by maternal neglect.

Also where I used to cook delicious, nutritious food, we are getting to know by face and soon know by name all the food delivery guys.  If you want to know where to get the best value meals in Dumaguete, ask me. I can tell you off the bat the menu of Silliman University Cafeteria, Silliman University Coop, McNeloys, St Therese, Lee Plaza Food Court, Evermall 2nd Floor Food Court and of course there is Jollibee.  Sometimes I forget to feed my family.  I remember my parental duty and obligation to nourish them only when the kids ask, 'Ma what's for lunch or dinner?' I'm becoming a perfect case study for the DSWD. Please don't turn me in...yet...

For anyone who cares to know, this has been reality for my family the past couple of months - engrossed as I am in a website design project. Hopefully as the project is drawing near completion, life in our household will be normal again....But hey, who wants to be normal... now that we've had a taste of the bohemian...It's a lifestyle I'm getting used to verrrryyy easily...

So guess what's for lunch tomorrow?  Let me see...it's a toss up between LA Tuyok Manok or Jo's Chicken Inato with leche flan for dessert...  And why is it that all of a sudden I feel soooo itchy?!!!  hehe...(just kidding, I've still managed to remember taking my daily bath and brushing my teeth after each meal...I think...)

p.s. Current website project: Calvary Chapel Dumaguete website

A ditzy Pinay, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood in the US. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. 'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?'                   The ditzy Pinay said, 'How about pipty dollars?' The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, 'Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?' The man replied, 'She should. She was standing on the porch.'                   A short time later, the ditzy Pinay came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' he asked. 'O-o,' the ditzy Pinay answered, 'and I had paint lept ober, so I gabe it two coats.' Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. 'And by the way,' the the ditzy Pinay added, 'it's not a Porch, it's a Perrari'

Who is Jesus Christ?  What is He to me?

Click here to find out more...

Have you ever doubted God's existence?

He is Lord of Heaven and Earth...

Lord of all creation...

He is Lord of me...

I invite you to watch this video...

The universe declares His Majesty!

Open your heart and invite JESUS CHRIST into YOUR life as Lord and Savior. Accept His free gift of Eternal LIFE...

Louis L'Amour was an author that my sister Susan Claire liked.  My source for my library of reading materials, well, came from her.  What Susan devoured in her literary explorations and journeys, I also devoured.

How serendipitous to have discovered that the quote First Lady Michelle Obama had engraved on her gift to Laura Bush encapsulates my present state of being and it came from one of the authors I grew up with...

From msnbc.com:

In the morning, before having coffee at the White House, first lady Michelle Obama handed Laura Bush a present. Inside was a leather-bound journal inscribed with a quote from Louis L'Amour, writer of stories about the United States' Wild West past:

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning."

Also in the gift box was a pen engraved with Tuesday's date, for Mrs. Bush to begin her memoirs, according to Mrs. Obama's spokeswoman, Katie McCormick Lelyveld.

I feel sooo totally connected with Michelle right now...haha...first name basis already we are...

(This is a reply I gave to Valerie):

Funny the mga visayans no? actually the Filipinos in general....There are a lot more signs like that here in Dumaguete (although these pictures were not necessarily taken in our beloved city)...Take for example something something Tomas Crossing...instead the signboard says..'Tom Cruising' haha...